Elevate Your Relationship With Unconditional Love


We’ve all heard the phrase, “I love you as you are. It echoes through romantic comedies, romantic dramas, and we all know Billy Joel’s bright-eyed song of the same name. It’s a beautiful notion, a state of love that one searches intuitively and yet… what does that mean exactly?

Does this mean that we love someone for no reason? Does this mean that we love them without any justification? Does that mean we love them no matter what they say and do? Does that mean we love them no matter what they don’t say and do?

I find it funny, for example, that parents of young children say, “I love my child unconditionally”. It’s relatively easy to love a toddler or toddler unconditionally – they haven’t learned to respond, they’re not in the world of making mistakes, and they still enjoy being with their parents and their parents. freely offer love and affection. But when they become teenagers, not only do they master the art of responding, but they have opinions they don’t hesitate to express, they are subjected to a stormy sea of ​​mood swings, and prefer to go out rather than spend time at home.

It’s the same with our romantic partners. At the start of a new relationship, everything that is the object of your affection fills your heart with butterflies and a feeling of love that never seems to fade. Fast forward five years, ten years, twenty years and that feeling of love will be totally different and often much less accessible. This is when a sentence like “I love you as you are” must now be renegotiated. It is also when the beauty of unconditional love can be practiced.

Unconditional love is not going anywhere, it still exists and vibrates within you, it just becomes a little less accessible in times of stress or conflict. Your child’s soul is the same at fifteen as it is at two, and the soul of that person you fell madly in love with is the same as the soul of the person whose socks you pick up 15 years later.

It’s easy to say we love our partners for who they are when we get what we want from them. But unconditional love is the experience of sharing, giving, and caring for our love even when it is not easily accessible. There will always be days when we don’t get what we want from our partners.

The difference between ego-based love and unconditional love is that the latter has the ability to grow endlessly, always creating a deeper and stronger bond. Unconditional love is not about power, wealth or self-esteem. To love unconditionally means to value the characteristics of a person which are a manifestation of their inner self. The only expectations are to be heard, respected and treated with human dignity. Unconditional love is the foundation of a happy relationship, and it’s not only achievable, but it’s a birthright for absolutely everyone.

When you train yourself to love someone unconditionally, you strive to see the best in them, but you also see the worst, and you love them nonetheless. You give out your love in times when it isn’t easy, reminding yourself that we are all in the middle of our stories as they unfold.

Most of us assume that we are going to have a healthy child, or that our partner will take care of us in times of illness and health. When these assumptions turn out to be wrong, we are forced to reconsider what we base our love on. In these moments, it becomes clear that our love is conditional or unconditional, depending on how we react to these dramatic changes in circumstances. For example, a married couple may feel happy until the woman loses her six-figure income. This is the opportunity to embrace the change and activate the love they swore to each other when they took those wedding vows. If you are going to be partners, that means you are partners through the ups and downs. High love requires a willingness to face and overcome challenges that will inevitably arise and to do so together.

It’s hard not to react when your partner skillfully presses your buttons or screams that he hates you. It’s hurtful to be a victim of this, but the path back to connecting with your partner, and the unconditional love you feel for them, means seeing things from their point of view. A great tool for this is learning to change perspective to ask: they or they are you feeling right now? What is there beyond the apparent anger? What are they frustrated with? What injury or anxiety makes them pick on you? Again, we’re talking about a simple change in “How am I feeling?” “To” How are they feeling? “

Connect with unconditional love by refocusing on your partner’s positive qualities rather than their bad behavior or perceived flaws in them, or any ideas you have about what they “should be.” Release ideas of how you would like them to be and embrace them for who they are and what they offer. Reconnect to the essence of the person you fell in love with and, you will be amazed at how that feeling of deep love has never gone away. He was there, waiting for you, from the start.

Monica Berg is an international speaker, spiritual thought leader, and author of “Rethink Love: 3 Steps to Being the One, Attracting the One, and Becoming One.

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