How to have unconditional love in your relationship


I know what you might be thinking: is unconditional love really possible? What exactly defines unconditional love and what does it take to achieve this seemingly impossible goal?

Every relationship has its advantages and pitfalls. Among all the things we desire when starting a new relationship, one unspoken expectation is to be loved unconditionally – and if it isn’t at the beginning, then eventually. But it’s an ideal that is extremely difficult to achieve, even for the most dedicated couples.

Unconditional love is when you love someone fully, fully, and completely, regardless of their flaws and faults.

Yes, it’s annoying when he never does the dishes, even when you’re on vacation. Maybe she’s sick of you always eating the last Oreo. And why do you have to be the one to take the kids to soccer practice every week?

But regardless of any minor issues, once unconditional love is achieved, you can overcome anything. It takes understanding, trust and kindness to your partner. Once you learn to meet these challenges, you can overcome them and watch your relationship flourish.

RELATED: 5 Healthy Ways To Respond When You Feel Unloved In Your Marriage

YourTango experts explain how to achieve unconditional love in your relationship by overcoming challenges that might get in your way:

1. Let go of selfishness and “conditions”.

“Couples often commit to loving their partner unconditionally, but then this ‘condition’ occurs. Instead of anchoring their love to each other in the practice of “emotional connection,” their love is rooted in their personal thoughts and feelings. Therefore, it becomes easy for them to find a condition to refuse love, if their partner upsets them or hurts their feelings. “

At first, it’s easy to think that just because you make a commitment to your partner, unconditional love comes automatically. This is not the case. Unconditional love runs deeper than your current thoughts.

Therefore, no matter how you feel about a certain situation with your partner, you should never refuse love in order to teach her a lesson or make yourself feel better. For unconditional love to work, you both need to be firmly grounded in the emotional connection that you share.

Dr. Eric A. Williams is a marriage and family counselor and therapist specializing in interpersonal and intrapersonal relationships who helps individuals and couples reconnect with their inner selves, as well as with their partner. Contact him today to set up a face-to-face or remote mental health counseling session so that he can “walk by your side”, ensuring your personal and professional success.

2. Become a more positive person.

Unconditional love is a vision, an ideal. In our current relationships, we have complex feelings, sometimes warm, sometimes cold. Adults can learn to work on themselves, so they have more positive feelings towards their partner. . “

If we work more on ourselves and maintain a positive mindset, it can be a stepping stone on the path to unconditional love. – who does not depend on the daily ups and downs of your emotions. When you allow your emotions about your partner to be fickle and changeable, rather than constant and true, you are setting your relationship up for failure and ensuring that unconditional love stays out of reach.

George Taylor is a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist and author who has helped many men and women cope with depression in their relationships and create more intimacy and love. Visit his website,, or read his book of the same, available on Amazon, to learn more.

RELATED: How To Have A Crazy And Happy Marriage

3. Rise above the little things.

“Unconditional love is difficult because it forces you to mature over and over again. It involves separating the behavior of a loved one from how you want to feel about them. Unconditional love means dealing with your emotions when you are bored or upset and choose to find a way to hug your loved one for the entirety of who he is.

You have to be the taller person. Don’t worry about the little things and try to get the big picture of your relationship. For every pet peeve that annoys you, find three other good things they’ve done for you.

Lesli Doares is a communication and relationship coach who helps couples stop arguing about “he said she said” and other communication issues and start loving, so they can create love. relationship they really want. Learn more about how to have a successful marriage by visit his website or by booking a Create Your Happiness Forever strategy session.

4. Know yourself first.

“All relationships begin with yourself. This is why you have to start loving yourself unconditionally. The question is: do you know what areas of your life you are selling yourself in? Get to know your own unconscious shadows and shades, and begin to develop a new relationship with yourself – one that attracts unconditional love into your life.

Stop getting in the way and take the time to learn more about yourself. Find out what motivates you as a person, both the good and the bad. You can gain a more balanced perspective and become a better person to give – and receive – unconditional love.

Maria Appelqvist, Ph.D. is author, speaker, educator, sexpert and founder of the Conscious Love Tribe. She teaches couples how to create connected and intimate relationships. Learn more today by getting a FREE sample of his book, Conscious love: moving and intimate connection.

5. Remember that unconditional love is different for everyone.

“Unconditional love is a concept with various interpretations, because the concept of love itself is an abstract ideal. Unconditional love can mean forgiveness, acceptance, presence, letting go of expectations, and more. It is so difficult to achieve unconditional love as it suggests that you embrace these concepts within yourself before asking another to do the same for you and for you.

To love others unconditionally, you must first love yourself. Be gentle with yourself when you’re not hitting all of your goals. Forgive yourself for any mistakes or missteps. The more you accept yourself, the easier it becomes to show and receive the love you desire.

And since every relationship is different, unconditional love in your relationship may seem different than unconditional love in your friend’s or parents’ relationship – and that’s totally OK! It’s about finding security, affection, and happiness in your current love situation. As long as you have this, reaching the level of unconditional love is within your reach.

Dr. Maxine Langdon Starr is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist in California, specializing in teens and young adults. She has also spoken about self-care and self-esteem issues at various community and business organizations, as well as universities and K-12 schools. For more information, please visit

For more tips from amazing people to help the professions, check out our experts. They are there to help!

RELATED: Take This Compatibility Quiz If You Want To Find True True Love

Jamille Jones is a freelance writer who taught English in Hiroshima, Japan for 2 years. She is passionate about Asian culture, chocolate addict, video game player and loves to teach for fun.

YourTango can earn an affiliate commission if you purchase something through the links shown in this article.