The 4 differences between platonic love and romantic love

Defining exactly what love means is like trying to explain where the rain comes from to a goldfish. We just don’t have the right perspective to fully understand it, but I to do differentiate between romantic love and platonic love. I understand that these are different types of love, different ways of loving, and that love can change and transform and transform – sometimes slowly, like melting ice, or quickly, like lightning.

The craziest part is that you can love multiple people so completely and completely, yet in totally unique ways. For example, my bridesmaid at my future wedding will likely be a man who, for all intents and purposes, was the first love of my life. He’s my best friend and he grew up with me in a way that only someone around me from day one can. I would be lost without him.

Then there is my future partner, who will be the groom – you know, hopefully. I can’t wait to spend my life with this person. Both must be standing next to me on my wedding day. And both are the loves of my life. Here’s the difference, though: one is platonic love and the other is romantic love. Read on for all the key differences between platonic and romantic love to help you better understand all of your most complex relationships.

Platonic love is all about embracing conflict, and romantic love forces you to compromise


When you love someone in a platonic way, there can be little fear of conflict. The fights may seem less important. Maybe the fight lasts a day – maybe even a month – but you can almost always find yourself because you love each other and spent that time apart growing up.

When you love someone romantically, compromise is crucial for your relationship. It is important that you make the other person happy. In fact, you are happier to indulge yourself. Some fights are healthy, but the best conflict leads to open and honest communication. Otherwise, unresolved negativity can become toxic or burdensome.

“In a real argument, the goal is to speak up, to be heard, and to learn what needs are not being met so that you can resolve your conflict in a way where you both feel heard and understood ” Dr Gary Brown, a prominent couples therapist in Los Angeles, previously told Elite Daily. When you come to a compromise with your romantic love, communication is king.

Platonic love allows brutal honesty, and romantic love requires you to be considerate

When you love someone platonically, you may feel more inclined to give it straight to them. Being extremely honest with them can take precedence over sparing their emotions, plus you know you’ll be there for them to lean on.

When you love someone romantically, you take their feelings into account. Being considerate doesn’t mean wrapping things up or lying to your partner, but if you have something difficult to tell them, you can really think about how best to convey that message, or you can tailor your message to their needs or needs. his emotional habits.

“Talk, talk, talk to each other” Dr Fran Walfish, family and relationship psychotherapist and author of The self-aware parent, previously told Elite Daily. “Listening to and talking to each other in turn is the seed that grows passion in relationships. Each of us wants the same thing: to be seen, recognized, validated, loved and accepted – flaws and all. “

Platonic love creates your roots and romantic love represents your future

Violeta Stoimenova / E + / Getty Images

When you love someone platonically, that love is present in your life like coffee in the morning, it is obvious. You may not need to think about it, constantly deal with it, or even recognize it. It is reliable.

When you love someone romantically, that love is full of possibilities. It takes planning, creativity, options and making decisions. You have to agree on where to go and what you want when you get there.

“When it’s time to talk about the future with your partner, it usually won’t come as a huge surprise,” Julie spira, online dating expert, previously told Elite Daily. “If you are good at communicating with your partner, you will have had several conversations about your goals for the future, and whether it is to move in together, get married, or have children.” A platonic lover keeps you down to earth, while a romantic lover lets you dream.

Platonic love is lasting and romantic love is delicate

When you love someone in a platonic way, your bond is usually strong, unwavering, and unconditional. It can take a long time to turn a platonic relationship upside down. Any surprises in the world might arise, but this relationship can stay the same.

When you love someone romantically, your relationship tends to be sensitive, emotional, and loving, which isn’t a bad thing. Romance can be nuanced and special, passionate or pragmatic. You ride the ups and downs of life with your romantic partner, and that’s what makes love so satisfying and so precious.

“Unconditional love means that despite the challenges, you are devoted enough to each other and are committed to working as a team,” Dr. Brown told Elite Daily. “Unconditional love tends to be much stronger and longer lasting than romantic love. You can certainly have both, but it is the unconditional love that endures.

Both are beautiful, special, and meant to be cherished.


Dr Gary Brown, eminent couple therapist

Dr Fran Walfish, family and relationship psychotherapist and author of The self-aware parent

Julie spira, online dating specialist

Editor’s Note: This story was updated by Elite Daily Staff.

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