The myth of unconditional love


Pooja bedi

Pooja Bedi represents the uninhibited, strong, modern Indian woman who has succeeded personally and professionally and has donned many hats. His prolific career spans the world

It is generally accepted that a mother’s love for her child is unconditional. But is it reciprocal? Usually, we never see children expressing unconditional love for their mother. As we age, we increasingly glorify the concept of “unconditional love“. We talk about feeling it towards our loved ones, humanity, nature, animals, life, the universe…. but hello everyone, when do you really feel it ??? The reason we are emotionally hurt is that our love is conditional.

In relationships, our love is directly proportional to how our partners make us feel, their loyalty to us, and how they lend to our lives and needs. It is never unconditional and independent. The problem is, in contrast, we expect to receive unconditional love, to be loved just for being us, and then go through some turmoil when we find that their love is also conditional. This concept of unconditional love is what ruins relationships. My favorite quote of all time is: “We are not human beings seeking spiritual existence. We are spiritual beings having a human experience “.

We come from unconditional love and we return to unconditional love. We are not here on this planet to experience unconditional love. We are here to experience sweaty love, messy love, mad love, passionate love, heartbreak and all the bells and whistles that come with it. So, strange as it sounds, enjoy the love and even breakups. Because it only means that someone better suited to you and at the next stage of your life can play their part.

Every relationship comes into your life to make you a better version of yourself. Respect each breakup for what it has taught you about life, love, people, yourself, and how you emerge from the pain with a stronger version of yourself. Whether you choose to come out scarred and bitter from the past, or stronger and hopeful for the future, it’s up to you to watch and learn again. Let’s stop deluding ourselves about “unconditional love” and endlessly hurting ourselves, let’s maximize love and learning in the most human and positive way possible.

I am a recently divorced 48 year old woman with two children. Although I am financially stable, my family is pressurize me to remarry. I had a very bad experience with my ex-husband and I am afraid and I dread to resume the road of marriage. I am perfectly happy on my own but the family does not want to listen. What should I do?

Just say yes! Commit to remarrying when you meet the right person and feel good. This way they feel soothed and you begin the process of mentally erasing the scars from the past with a positive approach to the future. In the meantime, work to repair the damage caused by him. Hang out with friends who have healthy marriages, watch movies based on second innings, and most importantly, visit a good counselor to get all the anger, pain, and fear out of your system. A bad man or a bad marriage is not the norm for all men and all marriages. It’s fine if you ultimately choose to never remarry, but at least it won’t be because of a stark past.

I am a 53 year old male and lost my wife to prolonged illness last year. We didn’t have children, but we were happy together. I recently met a woman through mutual friends. Although we get along well, I am not ready for a serious relationship. I don’t want to lose her either. What should I do?

Let her know that you really love her and that you need some time to deal with the loss of your wife. You can’t be a dog in the nursery, so if she needs some sort of commitment to give her a time frame that you feel is right for you and her, in which she can expect some seriousness. step forward.

I am a 32 year old woman in love with a man from my company. He lost his job last year and hasn’t been able to find one since. My parents are against our game because of his unemployment and want me to marry someone better of their choice. I don’t know what to do because I don’t want to hurt my parents or my boyfriend.

Love is through thick and thin. You love him for himself, not for his money or his lack. Jobs come, jobs disappear, but commitments must be honored. There are many reasons why a relationship breaks down, but financial distress should never be one of them. Perhaps a good middle way to appease parents is to tell them that you will continue the relationship but that you will not marry him until he finds another job.



The opinions expressed above are those of the author.