Through Theo Harrison
When we love someone without any expectations or thinking about what we can get in return from that individual, then it becomes true, unconditional love.
These days, dating can seem like a struggle for most people, as with each passing day we feel that relationships are getting more and more complicated.
However, love is actually much simpler.
Unconditional love may seem like a Buddhist way of loving an individual, but in reality it just means true love.
In the age of Instagram and Snapchat, where we put too much pressure on living the perfect life, we’ve made our relationships far more complicated than they should be.
As a result, we have corrupted our romantic feelings with expectations, insecurities, and codependency.
When we love someone unconditionally, we care about their happiness and well-being without any demands.
Unconditional love somehow begins with real love for ourselves.
What is unconditional love?
Unconditional love is a simple feeling where you care about each other without having any expectations.
It may be easier said than done.
It is basic human nature to wait, especially loved ones, and it can create cracks in our relationships that can go unnoticed.
Unconditional love is selfless and offers happiness, even through sacrifice, when needed.
When you love the other person, even when your dreams and plans for the relationship aren’t fulfilled, you can reach a level of love and affection where there won’t be pain.
Letting go of expectations and your perception of the perfect relationship will lead to a happier life for both of you.
If you love someone based on some factors like what they can do for you, then that is conditional love.
The act of loving an individual regardless of the circumstances is unconditional love.
It is to accept them as they are without seeking to change them.
However, unconditional love doesn’t mean being in a toxic relationship or tolerating abuse, betrayal, disrespect, or hurtful behavior in a relationship.
To love a person unconditionally, you have to start by loving yourself unconditionally.
Self-esteem will allow you to develop the mental and emotional strength to love another person without wanting anything in return.
In essence, unconditional love is simply true love consisting of understanding and respecting yourself and your partner.
However, unconditional love doesn’t necessarily mean that you don’t need your partner to love or support you when you need them.
It only means that you are not depending on someone else to feel the happiness inside.
This state of love can only be cultivated through a strong sense of self-respect, self-love, and self-confidence.
Love unconditionally to build stronger relationships
Loving someone unconditionally is a feeling that forces us to expose our weaknesses and vulnerabilities to someone who firmly believes that we want our partner to be happy, regardless of the outcome.
It’s more about how you make the other person feel, rather than how you feel when they’re with you.
At this time, unconditional love may be a foreign concept for us.
It is therefore crucial that we are sincere with our feelings and that we observe our thoughts about the other person.
Are your feelings for this person genuine? Does your love depend on certain factors?
Can your ego cause certain situations that can hurt the person you love?
Can you love someone unconditionally?
Loving someone unconditionally won’t be easy for anyone, unless it comes from within.
If you protect your partner or the person you love from challenges and difficulties, if you prevent him from making mistakes and learning from them, if you are overprotective and protect him from the difficulties of life, then you sure don’t like it. unconditionally.
Life is tough and we all face challenges in order to grow and move forward.
When you prevent them from having what life has in store for them, you are robbing them of all the experiences they are meant to have.
Defending them against certain feelings and experiences just because you don’t want them to suffer isn’t going to help them in any way.
Telling the truth to your loved one, guiding and helping them cope with difficulties and communicating kindly and without any judgment to help them grow is true love.
Unconditional love means loving and accepting the other person as they are without feeling the need to mold them into your perception of what they should be.
When you understand this subtle difference, you will realize how unique they really are, and you will build a romantic relationship.
Only when you love them as they are, will they be able to accept you and love you as you are.
It is the basis of a lasting romantic relationship.
Understanding unconditional love is one thing, but developing that feeling is a whole different story.
While unconditional love can be a bit difficult to achieve, you can definitely feel it with a little practice.
It can be difficult to love an individual unconditionally, especially when that feeling is not mutual.
Here are some helpful ways to practice unconditional love and develop a mutually happy relationship.
1. Love yourself unconditionally first
First of all, love yourself.
The importance of self-esteem simply cannot be overstated because it is the secret to unconditional love.
Loving someone else can be easier than loving yourself.
Unless you know how to love yourself unconditionally, you can never love others unconditionally.
Why? If your feelings and happiness depend on how much your partner is loving or caring for them, then it will always be conditional.
So, start by giving yourself the love you want to receive and give to others.
2. See love as a behavior, not an emotion
Imagine this, your partner is taking you on a romantic date or taking you on vacation to Hawaii.
You will surely feel loved and love them more in return.
However, if they cancel the plan at the last moment without notice, will it affect how you feel about them?
Can it change your behavior towards them?
If so, then you know that your love is conditional.
However, if you act in a specific way with your partner, regardless of their behavior or what they do for you, then your emotions and behavior will be in your control and will not affect your relationship.
When your love is not dependent on the other person’s actions, you will be able to love unconditionally.
3. Choose to love unconditionally
When it comes to love, there isn’t one philosophy or belief that will apply to all of us.
As we are all unique individuals, we all have unique relationships with exceptional experiences and challenges.
When you choose and consciously decide to love someone unconditionally, there is a mental shift in your state of mind.
It allows you to gain a whole new perspective and deal with relationship challenges in a different way.
You will learn something new about yourself and your partner every day.
4. Accept that love can hurt
True love can sometimes hurt.
In fact, the harder you love, the more pain you can feel.
Therefore, you should be able to come to terms with the fact that loving someone won’t always be a sun and rainbows.
There will also be dark clouds, lightning, thunder and rain.
When you accept this truth of life and still decide to give the other all the love of your heart, then you will be able to love unconditionally.
We learn from pain and get stronger each time we get over it.
When you accept how they feel about you and always shower them with love, you will find peace and happiness within you.
5. Learn to forgive
Unconditional love is not about tolerating abuse or cheating.
But, you have to accept that we are just humans and we make a lot of mistakes in life, especially in relationships.
So when your partner makes a mistake, instead of following your gut and letting your emotions control you, make sure you first try to figure out where they are coming from.
Empathy will allow you to understand their side of the story and respond in a more mature, kind, and better way, which will further strengthen your bond.
If you’ve been hurt or disappointed by the person you love, first let go of your expectations, heal yourself, and forgive them.
Forgiveness will empower you, while letting go of your anger and your own limiting beliefs will set you free.
When you choose to let go of negative emotions and respond in a loving and respectful manner, you will learn to love unconditionally.
6. Experience love in its purest form
You can develop a special and unique relationship with the person you love when you choose to let go of expectations and just love being in love.
This will help you build a solid foundation that will be free from insecurity and possessiveness.
Your love will become pure and genuine and will not depend on satisfying your own desires and interests.
Do not try to modify or change the person of your affection.
When you love them with acceptance and compassion, you will experience love in a whole new light that will amaze you.
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Theo Harrison is a writer who focuses on love, relationships and dating. For more of its love content, visit his author profile on The Mind’s Journal.
This article originally appeared on The journal of the mind. Reprinted with permission from the author.